Bill was an executive who was confident in his choice to re-org his large team, but realized quickly that the team was struggling to meet deadlines, plagued by miscommunication, and lacking a sense of shared purpose. Everyone was frustrated that they seemed unable to move forward. At the heart of these issues was a breakdown of trust.
Trust is fundamental to any relationship, and required for any highly functioning organization. It can be disorienting when we sense that our trust in a person is declining and we can’t pinpoint why.
Why do we experience this problem so often?
We collaborate in the reality of remote work, on disconnected digital communication tools, and in a constant influx of information. This often results in brief, transactional interactions that lose connection to the bigger vision. This fragmented way of working can result in breakdowns of trust that are particularly difficult to repair because we don't have a single event or circumstance to point to for our growing unease. It can be uncomfortable to raise interpersonal questions over virtual formats.
What can we do about it?
Breaking trust into component parts can help us diagnose and resolve trust issues. Try looking at trust through 3 different aspects:
Credibility
Do I believe the person has the skills, mindsets, and knowledge to deliver on the request or commitment made? Are they qualified to do the work?
Reliability
Can I count on this person to deliver? Are they dependable? Do they have a track record of doing what they say they are going to do?
Sincerity
Do I believe where this person is coming from? Are they sincere? Does what they are saying externally match my understanding of who they are?
These three aspects – credibility, reliability, and sincerity – form the pillars of trust in any relationship. By asking these questions, we discover new approaches for managing trust in any relationship. For example, the conversation you have with someone who isn’t delivering will be different than the one you have with someone whose sincerity you question. The steps to rebuild trust will also be different.
Self-awareness is key
It is important to remember that your answers to these questions are assessments; interpretations of what you observe. They reflect our experience of the person, and are not “the truth” about the person.
For example, you may not know about an aspect of a person's expertise. Or they may not have shared with you a roadblock that is impacting their usual reliability. Or you may just not know enough about where a person is coming from to accurately assess their sincerity.
The key is to use your answers to these questions to spark deeper conversation and strengthen the relationship.
Finally, remember that trust is a quality that is built over time. Each interaction we have is an opportunity to strengthen or weaken the trust we have with others. And this requires ongoing effort. Trust must be created in the initial conversation, maintained across our exchanges with the person, and rebuilt over time when we inevitably make mistakes.
Building and maintaining trust is an ongoing investment. Bill’s team spent months rebuilding trust, which required people to show up transparently and consistently in each interaction. By consciously cultivating these three aspects in our interactions, we can create a foundation for stronger, more productive, and more fulfilling relationships.
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